I can't believe that this Saturday I'll be in Ohio again. It seems like just yesterday I packed up my belongings, packed them all into the trunk of our car, and moved across the country to attend college. Now, my first semester of college is over! I have had an absolutely AMAZING time at BYU this Fall! I have grown SO much, becoming more of an adult as I learn to do things for myself and growing even closer to my Heavenly Father.
At the beginning of the semester, I felt that despite the many spiritual experiences and opportunities occurring around me, I was still a very unrighteous person. I felt very small in a world of so many righteous Mormons, and felt like I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do with my life. I grew and worked on changing my heart all semester, and this past week (not sure of the exact day to be honest) I realized that my whole problem was that while I wanted to be closer to Heavenly Father, I wasn't doing anything about it. Sure, I was asking for help, but I wasn't actively seeking it out. I have realized that the way for me to keep the spirit close in my life is to pray, I mean, REALLY pray. When I do that, combined with actively studying the scriptures, having charity, and remembering the Lord throughout the day, I can feel like I am living the way I should be. This past week has been absolutely amazing, even though it has been SO stressful. I know that when things go wrong, Heavenly Father will help me through them. He is there for me, and he wants to test my faith to prove to Him that I will not forsake him.
What's been so great about being here at BYU is that I haven't had any self-esteem problems. I think I've been depressed a total of 2 times this entire semester, SUCH a change from high school! The Spirit is SO strong that it's impossible not to be strengthened and edified.
I've been really stressed this past week about a job. As I mentioned in my previous post, I applied at the Cannon Center. My interview went really well, and I choose two preferences that would have had me working Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday from 5:30 to 10. My last choice was a custodial shift from 7:30 to midnight. I was in a predicament because I would have had to start working on January 3rd at 5:30, which is exactly the time I would be flying back into Provo. I prayed and prayed over the weekend that everything would work out, and bright and early Monday morning, I marched myself down to the Cannon Center to discover my fate. I got what I wanted, but not really. I got hired, but I would be working the custodial shift from 7:30 to midnight, walking home in the cold and dark at 12:30 Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday night. NOT safe, considering there are more rapes in Provo than there are in NYC. Plus, by working Tuesday and Thursday night I would have to quit University Band, which would mean I'm not guaranteed a spot on Drumline. I fretted all Monday morning as I crammed for my Comparative Literature exam, trying to trust in the Lord. My exam went well- my essays were a little too formulaic for my taste, but the questions were definitely manageable. I'm really hoping I get an A in the class.
Tuesday I woke up at 5:40 to study for my Geography exam. We got 9 essay questions in advance, and my professor than choose two that we would write for the exam. I was grinning from ear to ear when the exam was handed out: the two essay questions were two that I had studied really well. I vomited terms all over the paper, and gave WAY more examples than necessary. I only needed a 78% on the exam to get an A in the class, but I'm sure I aced it.
Tuesday night I got a wonderful break. I went with Christina to see the lights at the Shops of Riverton. They were absolutely GORGEOUS, and we took lots of cute pictures. The best part of the whole night was visiting Santa! We didn't sit on his lap (much to Christina's gratitude) but I did ask Santa for a job. He made me ask for a tangible item, to which I said a tv (something I don't want so that I'll actually get what I do want, a JOB!) Sorry if that didn't make sense, but I'm sure Santa has it all worked out :)
The only exam I had today was Communications, an open note exam. I spent a good two hours before going in pouring over my notes, making sure that everything was organized and that I knew what I was doing. I had the sneaking suspicion that Brother Curtis would use the same questions as the midterm and I was correct- the first 15 questions were straight off the first exam and I had all of the correct answers written down in my notes :) I got a 92% on the exam without the extra credit, and there's a curve in the class. Wohoo! First prerequisite for my major successfully
finished!!
If Heavenly Father isn't blessing me enough, I got a call from the CougarEat before going in to take my exam, saying that they had several shifts they thought would fit with my schedule and asked me to come in for an interview. I go in tomorrow right after my Writing exam, and am praying with all my heart that the shifts won't be too late at night and won't require me to quit band. I know that the Lord wil make things work out, I just have to trust in him.
Only two more exams left- Writing and Book of Mormon. I've got a lot of studying to do for Book of Mormon, but I love studying for this class so it's all good :) If I can do well on my exams, pass our cleaning check tomorrow night, get a job, pack and safely fly home, I will be on my way to one awesome and relaxing Christmas break.
"Trust in the Lord with thy whole heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding"
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