Betancourt Blessings: Vulnerability, A Sign of Strength

Vulnerability terrifies me. Even the connotation of the word sends me straight to an analogy I would use frequently on my mission. On my mission, my weaknesses became synonymous with different flavors of pies. I would get pied in the face with all of my weaknesses, spend a lot of time working to wipe the pie off of my face, and then just when I thought I was cleaned up again, another flavor of pie landed all over my face once again, and it was back to the beginning.

Now, before I go any farther, I want to acknowledge one of the most important lessons that I learned recently from reading about weakness and vulnerability:vulnerability is NOT weakness.Vulnerability is being open to weakness or attack, while weakness is not being able to withstand the weakness or attack. So, I henceforth will make that distinction between these two very different words that our world tries to make synonymous.

I’ll have MANY opportunities to embrace vulnerability in the coming year. To name a few: teaching in my own classroom for the first time, becoming a TA for a professor I’ve never taken a class from, completing a practicum and internship, and deciding where I will work upon graduation in April. ALL of these feel like big vulnerabilities to me, as newness brings out my greatest insecurities.

As I studying President Worthen’s inaugural talk as President of BYU, Pursuing our Quest for Perfection (see link below), something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about stuck out to me: the importance of success in the small and the simple things. President Worthen distinguishes three types of failure: 1. that in the everyday matters we are capable of succeeding in, 2. failure in uncontrollable circumstances i.e. that which is beyond our ability to control or beyond our capacity or capability, and 3. failure as we learn something that is completely new. As I thought about my own life, both my experiences in the past and those which are to come in the future, I realized that we can never truly succeed unless we master Principle 1. Even if we achieve no failures in 2 and 3 i.e. having uncontrollable situations work out perfectly or perfectly acquiring a new skill, we cannot truly succeed unless we have mastered Principle 1, for in that, if nothing else works out, lies true success. Alma probably says it best, “but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.” He doesn’t say that we’re going to succeed (overcome our vulnerability) as we perfectly learn to control every situation or master every new skill. No, it’s by doing the things that we have power to control, that are in our own sphere of influence, that we can progress. We can truly feel confident, not vulnerable, when we perfect our own sphere of influence. That way, no matter what kind of pie is thrown in our face tomorrow, we can look back and find success in the day.

What I want to remember most about vulnerability in the upcoming months is this: even if I fall on my face while being vulnerable, it is still totally worth it. Because experience is something that is wonderful, beautiful, and irreplaceable. The opportunities that I’ll have to mentor my students, teach in my own classroom for the first time, becoming a TA for a professor I’ve never taken a class from, complete a practicum and internship, and decide where I will work upon graduation in April are all once in a lifetime opportunities that whether I want or not, are going to happen. May as well embrace them as the true me rather than hid behind my wall of insecurities and weaknesses.

Ultimately, we need not focus on our vulnerabilities, but on what God can do with our vulnerabilities. We should not be asking whether we are our weaknesses, but what God can make of us in our weakness. These weaknesses and vulnerabilities are an inevitable part of life.

Pursuing our Quest for Perfection- https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/kevin-j-worthen_successfully-failing-pursuing-quest-perfection/

Studies on Vulnerability and Shame- http://brenebrown.com/